Being authentic is the best thing you can do to yourself, even if it makes you vulnerable. Author Aruna Joshi [Exclusive Interview]

Author Aruna Joshi With Her New Book, The Subtle Art Of Dealing With People.

Aruna Joshi is a passionate writer, heading the editorial department of a leading publishing house in Mumbai. Her area of work is spirituality, self-help, and personal growth. She left behind her successful 18-year practice of architecture to follow her purpose which is to bring about a positive change in people. Through her counseling sessions, she has helped many people to take their relationships to a new level and to lead a happy and regret-free life.

So below is our conversation with her. 🙂

Q1. Why did you call this book “The Subtle Art of Dealing with People”?

Aruna: As the name suggests, the book is all about people skills, and dealing with people is an art. Moreover, we are dealing with emotional beings. Emotions are delicate and difficult to analyze or describe, and that is what subtle literally means. So, I have called it a Subtle art.

Q2. Is this book about manipulating people or winning them over?

Aruna: This book is all about winning people over. Manipulation has a negative connotation. And people usually prefer to stay away from those who manipulate them as they are fearful of being taken for a ride or cheating. We can certainly find our way to people’s hearts by being who we are. We don’t need to be manipulative. You will find a lot of tips in this book to do so.

Q3. You speak about being authentic in many parts of this book. Does that not make a person vulnerable?

Aruna: Being authentic is the best thing you can do to yourself, even if it makes you vulnerable. We often try to create a false façade around us to protect our vulnerability; not realizing that we are moving away from our true self, our authentic self. And when we do that, we are depriving ourselves of the happiness and success in life. Not being authentic gives rise to a lot of conflicts within and one can never be peaceful and happy in that state. In fact, being authentic is easy. You don’t have to make any extra effort as that is what you actually are. You just have to recognize and acknowledge it. I have given several tips in the book on how to be your authentic self and how to handle the vulnerability.

Q4. Your book contains “pointers for the digital age”. How does one make relationships over zoom or digital mediums that seem so impersonal?

Aruna: These days we are mostly communicating through wires and machines. Many times even on zoom/online calls people prefer to keep their cameras off and voice on mute. It is difficult to connect with people in such scenarios. So, to develop relationships in the digital age, see to it that you can see and hear each other. Look in the camera and talk. That develops an instant connection. Follow the rules of people skills anyways. Greet and compliment others, inquire about their personal whereabouts, express concern and show that you care. All these will help establish a personal bond.

Q5. There is a chapter in your book called “How to Deal with Difficult People”. Do these techniques work?

Aruna: We find numerous kinds of people around us. Some are amicable, while some people give us a hard time. Some are lovable while some are full of jealousy. However, to be successful in life, we should be able to deal with all kinds of people. So, I have especially included this chapter in my book. Usually while dealing with difficult people, we try our best to change them but without any success. The bottom line to deal with such people is to “understand them and not change them.” Coming from this space will change your equation even with the most difficult people. In this chapter, I have given some case studies that will help you understand how to deal with difficult people.

Q.6 Have you always been a people person?

Aruna: As a child, I was an introvert. I use to shy away from people. I used to love being with myself and my close family. But as I grew up, I realized that although I was good in academics I never really flourished. I had huge stage-freight and I did not participate in any group activity. When this realization hit me, I started to push my boundaries and worked on my weak areas such as fear of being judged, low self-esteem, etc. After a lot of self-work, I now feel that I am reaching there. You will find the learnings from my life with examples in my book – The Subtle Art of Dealing with People.

Buy Book