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9 Sex Positions To Spice Up Your Long-Term Relationship

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The “let’s order takeaway for a special treat” position:

Show off your lithe body when you reach for your phone, and watch your partner drool in anticipation of imminent food. Order something spicy for extra spice.

Show off your lithe body when you reach for your phone, and watch your partner drool in anticipation of imminent food. Order something spicy for extra spice.

The “what is this weird thing growing in my ear” position:

Take advantage of the intimate moments when you investigate their latest health anxiety, by turning them into a sexy game.

Take advantage of the intimate moments when you investigate their latest health anxiety, by turning them into a sexy game.

The “Making a Murderer” position:

This super convenient and incredibly sexy and spicy position makes it so easy to switch from sex to just watching loads of TV together again.

This super convenient and incredibly sexy and spicy position makes it so easy to switch from sex to just watching loads of TV together again.

The “cleaning the bathroom” position:

Put an end to arguments about who does the most cleaning, AND spice up your relationship, by attaching sponges to your persons and getting sexy all over the bathroom. Clean surfaces + untrammelled pleasure = a happy, satisfied couple.

Put an end to arguments about who does the most cleaning, AND spice up your relationship, by attaching sponges to your persons and getting sexy all over the bathroom. Clean surfaces + untrammelled pleasure = a happy, satisfied couple.

The “cleaning the kitchen” position:

As above, but in the kitchen.

As above, but in the kitchen.

The “cleaning the bedroom” position:

Trickier. This involves one of you hoovering naked while the other one follows behind, also naked.

Trickier. This involves one of you hoovering naked while the other one follows behind, also naked.

The “Dutch oven” position:

As relevant now as it was at the dawn of the duvet. Warm, intimate, and very, very spicy. An oldie but a goodie.

As relevant now as it was at the dawn of the duvet. Warm, intimate, and very, very spicy. An oldie but a goodie.

The “why do you always do that???” position:

Bickering. It doesn’t sound sexy, but it should! Take advantage of heightened passions while having an argument, by breaking off midway through to have sex.

Bickering. It doesn’t sound sexy, but it should! Take advantage of heightened passions while having an argument, by breaking off midway through to have sex.

The “no sex tonight” position:

Because sometimes eight hours of quality sleep is more important than red-hot lovin’. Add extra spice by having a sex dream about your partner.

Because sometimes eight hours of quality sleep is more important than red-hot lovin’. Add extra spice by having a sex dream about your partner.

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Relationships

Don’t let petty fights ruin your relationships

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It might be true that an argument here and a misunderstanding helps a relationship get stronger, if you have been getting into regular fights over trivial issues such as not answering the phone, leaving the TV on, and the like, there’s time for a long and hard think.

Constant squabbles about things that mostly don’t matter can end up hurting a relationship.

Address your resentment
“There is a variety of reasons why couples end up fighting with each other often. Most common reason is some resentment that has been lingering in the past and there was no proper communication about that, and it ends up being discussed in a form of a petty fight,” says Dr Harsheen Arora.

Which is why it is important to communicate your hidden resentments and frustrations that you have towards your partner. When you communicate properly, explaining what upset or hurt you, more often than not, the partner will try to solve it.

Increased Work Pressure
“People vent out their work related frustrations on their partners, thinking that since they love them, they will understand their frustration,” says Dr Anil Sethi, a psychologist. That is a very irrational assumption to harbour. Your partner may be your safe place and even offer a welcoming space to express yourselves, they are not your punching bag. Ask for time to gather yourself or devise activities to chill out together.

Learn to say sorry
“One of the best ways to avoid any fight is to say sorry. Even if it’s not your mistake, and your partner is at fault, saying a sorry goes a long way to calm both of you down in a fight.”

“A person who accepts his mistake by saying sorry is a good human being, but a person who says sorry, even when it’s not their mistake is a better human being,” adds
Dr Sethi.

Don’t respond in anger
If one of the partners in a relationship is short-tempered, the other partner should try to avoid reacting in a similar way.

Even if it’s a small issue, the partner should be able to tackle that complaint in the most tactful of ways.

For example, consider saying ‘I know you care but I was upset when you did this’, instead of ‘You hurt me’.

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Relationship tips: Most couples understand each other after 40 years

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I am a 25-year-old woman and I have been in a relationship for the last three years. I want him to propose to me and take things even further. However, I first want to know if he is on the same page as I am. How should I go about it without making it shocking for him? – JK

JK, speaking of shocking, I’m writing this answer to you, on the occasion of Holi. And unfortunately, I’m stained with colour. Not because of Holi, but because my fountain pen has leaked all over my sleeve. Yes, I’m one of three people left in the world who still use fountain pens. The other two being Kim Jong Un and basketballer Kareem Abdul Jabbar. You asking him to propose to you is actually not him proposing you. In truth it’s you, proposing to him, to propose to you. Why not just send him a text, suggesting the proposal. Sign it with your initials J.K. If he reacts awkwardly, you can always just point of it’s a case of J.K. That is, just kidding. But after 3 years can’t you tell if he’s keen or not? These answers are generally pretty obvious. Now thanks to the ink, my shirt looks like the Delhi Capital teams uniform. Makes you wonder if it’s worth paying so much money to fancy fashion designers in the first place, JK!

I am a 34-year-old unmarried man. My family has been searching for a suitable alliance for me. However, nothing has worked out so far. I am planning on trying out a few dating applications to see if anything works out. Just in case, if it works, how should I present it to my parents? — UM

You can stage a play in a big auditorium, and have the gal of your choice play the lead role. And at the curtain call, she can introduce herself to your parents. By saying “I am UM’s chosen one, dear parents”! Or you can just share the link. Magadheesha the Sinhalese Saint of lesser virtue, once went hunting for a deer. However, he got distracted by a tapeworm. So caught up with the tapeworm was he, that during this time all the deer migrated. Hence today, Deer are hard to find in Sri Lanka, but tapeworms are available at all general provision stores, except on Sundays. UM, the morale of this story is when you get distracted by something else, you may lose the main thing. Your focus should not be your parents. It should be on finding your deer. Sorry, your female companion. Stop worrying about the tapeworm, and channelize all energies on the girl

I am a 26-year-old woman. I have been in a relationship for the last year but I am not really sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. How can I get that secure feeling and if it doesn’t work, how should I pass on the message to him in a subtle manner? — VC

VC, here’s a foolproof method, poke him in the ribs with your hardest fingers. (You could also use an implement like a comb or pen). If he gets angry and pulls your hair, or stamp on your feet, get rid of him. If he, instead, laughs and asks you to do it again, but this time with a harder implement like a hockey stick, or a cricket bat, he’s the one for you. No!!! VC, VC, VC. If you look forward to meeting him, if you think about him all the time, if you want to share all your thoughts and feelings, and if he’s comfortable around you, and by that I mean he’s happy to dig his nose in your presence, then you guys are good to go. I’m not a huge fan of this I rest of the life nonsense. Let’s get to know each other one day at a time. And by each other, I mean you and him. Not you or me. And definitely not him and me.

I am a 29-year-old man. I am getting married within the next two months. It is an arranged marriage and hence, I have not got much time to know my partner. Is there any way I can get to know more about her in less time? Please help. — GK

First the bad news. Arranged marriages cost the same as love marriages. Sometimes more. But never less. You still have to pay for the venue, the caterers, the entertainment, the flowers, the licenses, valet parking security, mother-in-law’s lengthy make-up etc. But yes 60 days is less time. Most couples only really understand each other after 40 years. And that’s generally when one discovers the other had a separate bank account on the sly. Or a family in another state. The obvious answer, is spend every waking hour together. But, GK, by now you should know, I hate the obvious. In fact, the biggest grouse heard by married couples, is how do I keep my marriage fresh? How do we keep it novel? Exciting? Why not try not knowing too much? It’s a bit of a lottery, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. No pre-judgements, just fresh news every day, going forward. Ultimately human beings always disappoint each other. So less knowledge, is a pretty positive gamble.

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Six millennial women get together and discuss love in the time of the dating app revolution.

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Is loving someone and being in love the same thing? It might sound like an unnecessary technicality, but allow me a few more words to explain. The one who says those ‘three beautiful words’ aka “I love you” doesn’t necessarily have to be in love with you. No, Mills & Boon classics’ elements, Bollywood songs on snow-capped peaks, violins in the background and other similar things don’t happen, at least not in real life. If you, however, are experiencing something similar, you need to speak with someone and soon. Jokes apart, though. In today’s day and age, love is becoming practical, and it probably is not such a bad thing. Unless you choose a different path of finding your plus one in your time, no rush or pressure or stress.

One of Imtiaz Ali’s films a few years ago spoke about love in the practical age and how it’s the most impractical concept. Perhaps. What’s heartwarming is that love as a concept or the idea of it is a topic that never loses meaning, depth and the people making stories on it inevitably circle back to it in one way or another.

So can you find love on a dating app? We know we use it, and it’s only right to be open about it. We met six great women ahead of International Women’s Day 2019 to know their dating patterns; if they use apps to find love; if they’ve found someone whom they’ve spent quality time with; and how do they ensure their safety when meeting someone off their phones and in their real lives.

Taru Kapoor, GM India, Tinder & Match Group says, “Conversations about dating are still relatively nascent in India. Women, in particular, are seeking out ways to take charge of their romantic and social experiences – a phenomenon we see both across India’s cities and towns. This opportunity has made life easier for both men and women, especially for women in the Indian context, for whom it is empowering.”

She adds, “Given the nature of our society, where women have historically had restricted access to technology, limited control over their lives and great moral scrutiny of their judgement and their choices – particularly romantically, features like My Move give women the ability to exclusively send the first message, if and when they want to. This creates a safe, non-judgmental platform where women are free to choose, discover and interact with like-minded people, and use the platform in a way they are most comfortable with.”

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